Just a few funnies to get through the Wednesday...happy hump day.
It's wise to remember how easily email -- this wonderful technology -- can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences. Read this short funny story.
An Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.
Unfortunately, when typing her address, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
P.S. Sure is hot down here.
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One day an employee sends a letter to his boss to increase his salary!!!
Dear Bo$$,
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon
Your$ $incerely,
Norman $oh
The next day, the employee received this letter of reply:
Dear NOrman,
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.
Yours truly,
Manager -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and noticed that everybody was staring at me....
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
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Dirt joke of the day...
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants s*x, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll k*ll us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A husband and wife were trying to set up a new password to their computer.
A husband, "Put 'MYPENIS' " and the wife fell on the ground laughing cause on screen was error, "Error. Not long enough."-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Short jokes on businessman..
Man: Do you know how businessman talks in short?
Woman: I don't know..
Man: They say my short life is like math and i am trying to add my
income, subtract from my weight, divide my time and avoid multiplying..
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Bye bye~
Life's too short to stress about the little things, although it's hard not to stress about certain things big or small, it's good to remember life is just too damn short! We stress about aging and getting older but in fact stressing about it ages us more. All it does is add another wrinkle to the many to come. It's natural and bound to happen, we can't stop it so why expedite the process by worrying about it. Easier said than done but hey! why not try to look on the brighter side of things. My hesitations with things I'm not positive will bring the outcome I might "want" holds me back...same concept as how do you know it taste bad without actually trying it. You will never know because you didn't want to take the chance. It might look horrible but at the same time it might look like that but be the best thing you've tasted in your time. Never know until you try. Trying to open myself up to other options outside of my norm is difficult but something I'm willing to work on, day by day. 
It' s hard but I continue to think that life's too short for nonsense. Too short to be at a job you hate, too short to drag on a relationship that's unhealthy, simply too short to be doing something that is not right for you. And you decide what is right for you and what is considered a dead end (In God of course.) I need to learn to enjoy life the right way and what is the correct way? I may never know what that is exactly~ but I sure can try...live to the fullest with no regrets. Some thing you may look back on and shrug but hey let's make that a lesson. 
